My first year of college I had an amazing English teacher. He was passionate about reading and writing, and he brought out my love for the penned word. He made us read the terribly dated Shakespearean kind of books I hate, but let us write the way we wanted. He was old. Very old and I think he liked me because I breathed life into my writings. My very first assignment I got a 29/30, yet he didn't leave any comments for correction. He just couldn't give me a perfect score on the first day. I called him out on it. He just smiled and left me with my grade one point shy of perfection.
One day he assigned us a paper to be titled, "The Meaning of Life." I took it very seriously and wanted to paint a picture of the life I'd lived in my short nineteen years.
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The meaning of life is death.
For it is only when faced with death that we realize all we will miss about life... what made life worth living. People try to avoid or prolong the inevitable, but eventually it catches up with us. And when it does, in those few moments before our last breath is stolen, we realize what the meaning of life is.
Was.
The meaning of life was...
Grandmas pancakes in the summer mornings with ice cream instead of butter
Freshly baked Jiffy blueberry muffins for dessert
The Crazy Hat Parade
Wearing that stupid white sweater while watching our first movie together
Laughing a dozen different laughs for what seemed like hours straight
Hiding in the cabinet just to see if I would fit
Stealing a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree...
& decorating it with various objects from around the house like keg cups and candy wrappers
THE ENTIRE WEEKEND IN SAN FRANCISCO
Becoming the object of Tony Guides desire
Mark, in an 'oh so gentle manly' manner saving me from
having become Tony's sudden eye candy
Sitting in the walnut tree in the prettiest run down yard
"Mulan" with sweaty Crisco
Little girl tears for a 'real' family
Gangsta' Thug Night
All of Matt's baseball games
Twelve and behind the wheel of Christie's car!
Flirting with disaster at the Fun Factory...
S t a l k i n g !
April Fools Day jokes-- accidentally not jokes
The seven hour drive, not the destination, but the seven
hours in the car alone with nothing but static and thoughts
Mom looking for Toni's tombstone even though she was cremated
Chasing after Jordan in the boys room
My second grade crush, *Shawn*
The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
"My love" / "Mi amor"
Trick-or-treating a day early every year!
Being the only ones w/o kids watching "Shrek" on the side of a building in the park
The look of shock in all our eyes that night on the pier as we watched that sand shark go limp,
not knowing what the fisherman meant when he said he was going to 'slap it'
"The Brady Bunch"
Talking to Dolly in the middle of the night as though telling my problems to as horse was going to be therapeutic in some way!
Telling my problems to a horse actually being therapeutic...
Passionately showering
The Cheerleader and Miss Popularity being jealous of ME.
...even if for a fleeting moment!
"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?"
The disaster that became of The Princess Party
Taco Bell Dan
Crying myself to sleep
How proud he was when he made it
triumphantly out of his first pickle!
Promises about the last seven minutes before the exploding sun chars the earth
Hating high school
Loving high school
Fearing life
E M B R A C I N G L I F E !
Dancing under the moonlight actually being ROMANTIC as opposed to cheesy
The words: I love you
5 AM Denny's breakfast
LOTR-athon
Getting kicked out of Wal*Mart
Being onstage
"Big A"
Speaking at 8th grade graduation
Being genuinely surprised by my surprise party
Loving Brian Stirling, even if it turns out he was gay
Girls Weekend in Sonora
Shamelessly flirting with our older brothers friends
Trying desperately to fit in, while trying desperately not to look like I was desperately trying to fit in!
Making a best friend in a Hamburger Pal
"The Elf Kings"
Incredible Hulk Underwear
Promising not to leave Amanda and then ditching her to be tackled
Purposefully trying to get searched by Immigration every time I pass the checkpoint so I'll have "one of those life stories" to tell
Kyke dancing in the middle of the street with a drunk homeless guy at prom
Burger King crowns just to steal her birthday spotlight!
"God! You're people are so dramatic!"
"Story at Eleven"
Trying to explain Sarah's "Porn/Pizza/Pool Party" to the police
The rules of the Second Floor
Jackson the dead potato bug
The Temecula House
The Halfway Table!
My little "Farm Boy" and the most lame house party ever!
That night on the 'Community House' roof
Brutal honesty in the jacuzzi
Finding my long lost triplet sisters
Cramming muffins in my purse to get our moneys worth out of a buffet
KFC Crew, KFC-4-Life!
Martin the hairy rhino doll
Voting for Arnold Schwarzenegger just so I could tell my grand kids one day that I voted for The Governator!
Fighting about the strike, most ridiculous waste of a date night
Stealing Store One's better Christmas tree
"The Roger Doll"
Harmless illegal acts
Braving Blacks Beach with Sarah
Joe's Crab Shack and the birth of 'The Crabs'
Friendly strangers and the "Drink Nazi"
Fearing I will have no one to walk me down the aisle to give me away
Hidden advertisements working; Cup of Noodles over the phone with Eddie
Couples dancing in the back of KFC to "I Swear" by Boyz II Men, as the car in the drive thru blasted the radio while stuck in line with the kitchen speaker still activated
Never giving a damn whether or not I people liked or accepted me,
but knowing how good it feels when they do
The "Baby Factory" and the cookie that knows all
Disneyland with the last two people I would expect
Circling 'YES'
Crazy Hat Day in Summer School
'Gabo' on the window
Sara's 'racy panties!'
"Heyyyyy yooooou guuuuuuuys!"
F A M I L Y
The meaning of life is why we fear death.
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When my friend Mikhail saw my grade he scoffed, saying he was going to "write a list" but decided against it because he knew he'd be failed. You know when kids dissect contractions to make their word count meet the requirements... I think he assumed my "list" was doing just that, but I met the word quota and then some. And then a lot actually.
I think it was obvious I was the teachers pet. The golden child. He saw my potential and my goal was to surpass his every expectation. I'd like that sort of motivation in my life again. I should take writing more seriously, even if it's just blogging for now.
I wonder how this assignment would look if I wrote it now, ten years later...
2 comments:
Don't wonder, write it.
You have so many more memories to add to that list.
What a touching monument to memory. You should certainly make writing a priority. It would be a shame to waste such talent.
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