October 10, 2011

"Is that a Miller Lite? You are clearly a connoisseur of fine ales, mate!"

To beer or not to beer? That is the question. Okay that's not really even the question at all, the question is (or questions are); How far does one go to support ones family? Or, At what point does one cross a line into hypocrisy? And, Isn't McDonalds hiring? I don't really know the right answer to any of these, but lets discuss.
So, here's the lowdown, last week I was at work, clearing a table, headed back to the kitchen when I glanced at the tv and saw a very familiar face in a Miller Lite commercial... Kirby Heyborne of Mormon movie fame ("Singles Ward," "Singles Ward II," etc.) was on the tv screen for a mere 2 seconds, that I caught, sitting at a bar, about to enjoy a beer with his fake commercial friends. I thought, "What!? No way," reminded myself to tell my hubby about it, got back to work and forgot about it. Until I saw on Dragon's (yes, he's still insisting I call him "Dragon") facebook page a post that he too saw what my eyes saw. Only he saw senor Kirby on an airplane about to indulge in a buh buh buh beer! I googled it to find the ad I had seen and came up with three different commercials all staring one in the same... Kirby. "Say it aint so!!" Mormon tweens are screaming across Utah.
Upon careful googling, I discovered that yes, it was indeed theeee Kirby Heyborne, Kirby Heyborne, 'that famous Mormon actor guy,' the self-proclaimed "temple worthy member of the church." Where do we start? Well, not where everyone else in the blogosphere did, tearing him apart doesn't make us any better than we are judging him to be. In fact, I'm not judging at all. I'm here to play devils advocate (fitting and witty at the same time, man, I'm good!) So... a Mormon actor-- and lets remember that word, ACTOR-- plays the role of  random party goer/potential beer drinker #1 in a nationally televised commercial. A BEER COMMERCIAL. Oh no!, right? Not really. He's acting. Is there a difference between acting and supporting? I think so, but lets continue with the actor part first. There are actors who play the role of Lucifer in movies, or all the bad guys of The Book of Mormon, is that different? Worse yet, Jim Caviezel straight up played Jesus in Mel Gibsons, "Passion of the Christ." Is it not sacrilegious for one to act as though he or she is Jesus or God? But he wasn't actually pretending to be Jesus, he was just playing a role you say. Hmm, what do you mean? There's a difference? I mean, I see he wasn't walking around trying to convince people he was actually Christ, trying to gain followers, or take worship away from God, but he was pretending to be Jesus, wasn't he? And isn't all Kirby is doing is pretending to be a beer drinker? I don't even think he is portrayed drinking the beer in any of the commercials I saw. One he grabs a beer before entering a party and the other he is on a plane holding a beer being told by his friends how unmanly he is. Never does he even take a swig.
He's acting, making a paycheck to support his family and trying to break his way into main stream movies where he'll likely get a much larger paycheck than what the, small in comparison to blockbuster Hollywood hits, Mormon flicks were able to provide. Now lets switch it up and bring up the difference between acting and supporting. Or acting and endorsing. Kirby Heyborne is an actor. Actors will be asked to play all sorts of roles in their career and make all sorts of career choices, ones they either agree with or disagree with. Ones they either agree with and take on, disagree with and turn down or disagree with and do anyway to get ahead. Now, anyone who thinks he took this role in spite of his beliefs in an attempt to get ahead or make a name for himself in Hollywood, I believe to be a total moron. I doubt the discussion with his manager went anything like this, "Man! Here's your chance to hit it big! This is your chance to get discovered, you gotta take it!" I think the discussion with his wife was a much more important one. He is quoted in several articles I read saying the choice to do this particular set of commercials was something he and his wife didn't take lightly. They discussed it and decided it was something they needed to at the time. The man has bills as any of us do. Kids to feed. What would you do to support your family?
Kirby is not pulling a Sarah McLachlan, *cue sad, sad musical into.* "In the arms of an angel, flyyyyy awaaaaaay from heeeeere...." *cue even sadder, sad almost dead looking street shabby animals* "Hello, I'm Sarah Mclachlan and for only a sixty cents a day you can support these precious animals who are without a home due to overpopulation." *cue sad face looking down at adorably half dead puppy in her arms.* He's not endorsing Miller Lite, saying "Hey, I'm Kirby Heyborne! When you too decide to break the Word of Wisdom, do like I do, choose Miller Lite" *cue BIG gulp, with beer bottle appropriately set to camera, displaying brand logo. Finsish big gulp, cue refreshing "aaaaaah" and big cheesy satisfied thirst-quenched smile.*
I recently bought a shirt for our vacation because I was in need of a comfy cotton shirt I could roll around and get dirty in. It is a men's shirt I found in the sale rack at Target. $2.74, it's grey, slim fitted, uber comfy cotton blend and has a beer logo on the front with a horse head. It's not a popular beer, I suppose popular enough to make it to mainstream Targets sales rack, but I'd never heard of it before, never drank it or sold it in any of the restaurants I worked. I wear it because I like how it fits and looks with khaki shorts, it's comfy casual regular and gives the all american girl look. Should I not have purchased it? Should I maybe not wear it outside of the house around the neighborhood where the youth I teach Sunday School might see? Am I brand endorsing when I wear it? I don't really see it that way when I wear it, I see it as any other graphic tee that has some made up 'BeaverVille Hotel, No Vacancy' on it. I see the difference in drinking beer or encouraging others to drink beer and wearing a beer shirt, just as I see the argument that we each need to stand a witness of our beliefs in all times and in all things and in all places. Meaning we should not hesitate to speak up for what we believe in. Is not speaking up when given the chance to speak considered backing down? If I'm at a family reunion and I'm pretending to drink a mixed drink and pretending to act drunk so my family will never know the difference then I am hiding something. Then I am pretending to be something I am not. Then I am stifling who I am, denying my beliefs and turning my back on God... but I do not believe that is what Kirby has done. He has openly stated he is still a member in good standing in The Church. I don't think he is backing down, I don't think he has brought shame to his name or the institution in which he belongs. He's making a paycheck. Whether I or you agree with it or not does not matter because we are not directly affected by his actions; meaning we are not the ones who have to go without if he doesn't make what he needs to support his family, nor are we even directly affected by what the consequences for said actions may be. Some may say, "Oh I've heard that before, just trying to get by," isn't that what strippers say? Drug dealers? Porn stars? Hookers? What about LDS grocers who sell alcohol, the LDS waiter who rattles off a list of bar specials to get your tab up and get a larger tip? Steve Young who has played football so many Sundays for the past I-don't-know-how-many-years? LDS Police officers who parole the streets keeping you safe into the wee hours of the Seventh Day? Do we expect our military LDS sons, fiances and husbands to lay down arms on Sunday because it is the Lords holy Sabbath; surely the enemy will understand, right? I agree with Tom Grover (knuvforthepeople.com) that we can easily liken these characters to the former. Just as we can remember a time when we were in the shoes of Mr. Heyborne; having, ourselves, done something others may snub their noses at, maybe even something we  were confused about, but happy, thankfully that we need only justify our actions to ourselves and one other.

I don't think Kirby has done anything to be ashamed of. I believe it was a rough decision he and his family had to make at the time of accepting the job offer. Lets keep in mind, it was a job offer. He's not being "Kirby Heyborne" suggesting anyone go drink beer. He's playing the part of 5'11" average looking blonde beer drinker. Do we fault him for this? We shouldn't. First of all it's not our place. You want to toss out your old "Sons of Provo" dvd, burn that autographed photo you have of him from the time you saw him at the food court in Provo Towne Center, that's your prerogative. You can filter what you watch, what you eat, what you drink, with whom you associate and all these matters in relation to your own family as well, but if you are one who is offended by Kirby's recent choice then you are one who knows better. You are one who knows mans choice is his God given right, a right Jesus died to allow us.  




September 23, 2011

fashion, wwjd? & things that make me sad...

FASHION WEEK!! 
So it was fashion week last week or the week before orrrr something. All I know is Lindsay Lohan was snubbed by the Olsens AND Dakota Fanning, I think that to be snubbed by Dakota Fanning you probably have to be a real L-O-S-E-R! (Because Dakota Fanning seems like a real sweet-tart.)  
This post is not all about fashion, just the following pictures. On Tuesday, my one day off a week to dress normal; not in dirty, stinky faded black Malawi attire, I have to admit I thought I was looking pretty fresh to dea'f ... soooo, I made Dragon (Jordan is making me call him Dragon now whenever I refer to him on my blog. sheesh!) ...so, of course I had Dragon take some fashion pictures of me to share with the blogger world. I appreciate my blog in that it allows me to document cute outfits and I have like zero followers; aside from my husband, his mom and my co-worker Greg's wife, (yeah, I called you out! I know you're sneaking a peek!) so thankfully my vanity goes overlooked by most. JK (Rowling)! 
On with the show! 

After I forced Dragon to call me a tiger and make growling sexy noises at me, I took pictures of him too. He did not want to pose, note: he wasn't even wearing shoes, but I told him HE MUST!!-- it is fashion week! Or close to it. So here is him. He has some really unique poses and I think shortly after I post today's episode that Abercrombie will be tying up his phone.


Good, right? I told you! 


And here's me...  only double the trouble.

       


In picture Number One I am a one legged pirate, you're into it aren't you? Picture Number Two really displays my love for brick walls. I am slowly caressing it. Imagine me as Michael Scott as that guy who is not Brian Fontana or Champ or Ron Burgundy from "Anchor Man." What is it Dragon? Oh yes, Brick, how appropriate! So imagine me as him, caressing the brick wall, shouting, "I LOVE LAMP!" Only I love brick(s), not Brick. So those are my poses, Brick and the pirate who will never be able to do the Captian Morgan stance, unless I jump, pose my one existing leg and the cameraman happens to get me at just the right angle. Then we can superimpose a barrel of rum under me. Only not whiskey, butter-beer, because I'm Mormon now. Which is also why I particularly liked Tuesdays outfit-- because it is so fashionably "modest." I want to be one of those hot SLC Mormies who are uber-fashion forward despite certain modesty restrictions we may have (which by the way I do not see as restrictions and am more than happy to accommodate- when it's not 120 degrees out.) 

If you have read this far, thank you. If you have read this far but are banging your head against a wall. Thank you and I'm sorry. Now onto the meat. 

We have two items on today's agenda... 
Number One: Stake Conference. 
Two Sundays ago Dragon and I went to church early. Very early, like and hour and a half early because it was Stake Conference. Seats go fast, cushioned seats that is. Last year we went an hour early and still had to sit in the reject seats in the back. So this year we were determined to have our normal front right corner seats! Turns out an hour and a half is too early. Way too early. People didn't really start to show until about a quarter til. 
So this was this one lady who was sitting two rows in front of us, saving seats; which I am strongly against, unless of course the seat is being saved for me. Or the person for whom which said seat is being saved happens to have a baby, in which case they will be running late-- still not the best excuse to me because I am not a mother yet and do not understand how it could be very hard to throw an outfit on a baby who could care less what it looks like (mothers have at me! I know there is so much more to it!) While this lady is saving seats, young married couples keep coming up to her and asking if the seats are saved, to which she responds, "yes." Finally, a younger woman comes down from the choir to take her seat with older lady number one... all the while  more couples are coming to ask to sit next to these two women. Well at one point Dragon and I finally hear one determined couple ask if they are saving seats, to which the two ladies reply again, "yes," but then the couple asks, "Oh how many?" ...to which the TWO ladies, saving an entire cushioned church pew, reply, "ONE." No joke. These pews seat five adults easy. You may have to be a little snug. Four is likely ideal if you don't know your neighbors.... but three to a pew!? (When I say pew, I'm talking BENCH here.) Jordan and I were sitting with another couple, the man was a little heftier, but I would gladly have scooted down to squeeze in two more had the other couple in our bench been willing. So two women in a five person bench do not scoot over to allow room for a very skinny couple, might I add. I was a little baffled. I mean, sure nobody likes to be breathed on by strangers, but really? In church no less, you can't make room for two? When you're only waiting on one! 
I wondered how different it might be if there were no seats behind the pews? Not even the hard fold out chairs that half the people sit on most Sundays anyway because they don't like to be too close in church, something about nerds being labeled in high school for sitting in the front row of desks has remained embedded deep in their brains. But when it's Stake Conference, oh no hold barred! 'Front row is mine suckas!' As a weekly front rower, not just a 'when it's important front row thief,' I am aghast! How unwilling would people be to sit together if behind the pews there was only standing room, dirt, imagine this were the real times of Jesus and aside from limited group seating there was only the dirt to sit or stand, would we still choose our own comfort bubble over offering others a seat? I should hope not. I don't know why it should be any different. 
I am not trying to act holier than thou, like I said, Dragon and I only had four in our row (at least four is more  than three, Nanner! Nanner! Nanner!), but seriously. I just couldn't get past, not the act it self, but the example that was set. Turning away others who are gathering with you to hear the gospel taught and brought to life. I dwelled on it, clearly. When two weeks later I am still bringing it up. Thoughts? 

Item of Business Numero Dos: "The Help" 
This movie, oh man!, just as suspected... made me laugh, made me cry, made my soul cheer and scream for justice! There are many parts that really pull on your heart strings, but the part where one maid is getting hauled off by the cops kicking and screaming and Abeline is yelling, "Don't fight!" Man, those two words killed me! "Don't fight!" Can you imagine? I mean, she stole, okay, I get that part, but your entire life you've been deprived of your basic Civil Rights. Your innate human rights. Not God granted, not Law granted, but something that we as humans should innately and gladly share with everyone of our species. ?? I can't even imagine. It makes me sad. Sad to think that such hate and racism existed in our world. Even after all the advancements man has made in this world we've been given, or somehow stumbled upon, whichever you believe, that we can't co-exist with other humans peacefully and happily. Call me a flaming whatever. But can't we all just get along. Okay, really bad quote. Really though, can you imagine anyone ever telling you not to fight it. 'It' being whatever is wrong in your life and your friend just tells you to lie down and take it, don't rise up, don't fight against it because it has been and always will be. Don't even try to change it. Admit defeat before you've even ATTEMPTED. Before you've even TRIED. Can you imagine telling your children that? It hurt to hear, it was so hard to hear and to think that that is how so many people lived their lives because of FEAR. Fear of opposition. I say bring it on, because there is nothing worth living for that ain't worth dying for! 

September 6, 2011

Me and Tina Turner, we'd get right along!

Right now I'm laying in bed with Jordy listing to the neighbors fight. Well, not listening, but we definitely can't help but hear them.Yikes. He said to me, 'Man, wonder if the bottom level is bad luck for marriages,' because we already know one couple who lived there and got divorced, the other two units are divorced people and now we're overhearing the only married unit left fighting... hmmm. Think we'll stay up here even if they do have a dishwasher down there! Our next door neighbors have been married for two years and seem pretty happy, so upper level seems to have avoided "The Curse of Level One Macada Apartments!!"
Muahahaha, dun, dun, dunnnn!
A  newly wed guy from church asked Jordan, the other day, how the first year of marriage was for us. Seems like we've been hearing from a lot of people lately that the first year is, "always the rough one," well, hmmm... if year one is the worst and it only gets better from here then let me tell you, I am looking forward to the rest of our lives together!! Sure we had simple fights, the obvious stuff a couple deals with when combining two lifestyles into one both can agree upon, but nothing major. Definitely nothing either one of us ever thought was anything worth even thinking of leaving the other over.
We just passed the One Year Mark and were able to celebrate with a rafting trip down the Green River (Great segway, huh? I'm clever, if you didn't already know. Jordan would be laughing and rolling his eyes at how funny I think I am if he were reading over my shoulder.) Jordan planned a 4 day, 3 night trip that started at the base of the river in Colorado and rafted us back into Vernal, Utah. It was AWESOME! So great, really. There were 23 people, 6 rafts each with a guide. They made us breakfast, lunch and dinner, very little cleaning duty on our parts. I think the most work we had to do was assembling and disassembling our tents every morning and evening at each new location (but you know I made Jordan do that!) The whole trip was so cool though, I definitely suggest you do a multi-day river trip if you ever get the chance! I have two favorite things... I liked being away from everything-- you can really lose yourself out there because you are literally cut off from all civilization (aside from satellite phones for emergencies each guide carries),  no fake-tree cell phone towers, it's all real nature at it's finest! I've always thought I could live like "The Village," a throwback to pioneer times. The other thing I really liked the most was the COMRADERY! You are on this 4 day trip with 20 something strangers; over the course of 4 days you have to learn to depend on them. So Day One was the getting to know each other part and it may have been a little awkward, like any first meet. We were just thrown into boats with strangers, about 5 to each boat, and you're just chillin' down the river for a few hours before lunch. By lunch you know a little bit about the others in your boat and a lot about nature, because to avoid awkward silences as your new friends are just staring at you, you ask the guide all sorts of silly questions from rock and cloud formation to water temperature. Dinner time the first night was great, though. Everyone is all exited, a little tired, but really hungry. This is where we all start to talk and get to know each other. Starts with the typical, "So, Andy, what do you do?" but soon we are finding similarities and common ground on which to hold genuine conversation! It was great, we ate huge fajita burritos, everyone was sharing beer they had bought earlier, they were even offering up their mixers so Jordan and I could have a cola without feeling left out of the cool group because we hadn't even gotten out of the car at the bar stop. The first nights sleep I'll admit I was a little nervous one of my 23 seemingly normal new friends would turn out to be a Dexter sorta freak and machete us all to death before we even got to see our first big rapid, but that's just my normal overactive imagination.
By the second and third day families and couples are splitting up, kayaking in single 'duckies' or splitting boats so everyone could get a chance at the paddle boat. Five of the Six boats were oared by a single guide, but the last was a paddle boat that all riders had to participate to run. This was my favorite and unfortunately we didn't get a chance to ride until the last day. Katie was our guide on this boat and Jordan and I agree she was our favorite! Katie was so great at interacting with everyone on the trip. Her boat was definitely the party boat! She kept things lively with random games and lots of singing! I mean, you can really only pretend to be interested in rock formation and erosion for so long, ya' know! She did a great job of mixing the educational with the FUN! So, by the second and third day people are splitting up and entrusting their loved ones in the care of not only the guides, but their fellow boaters. Day four, on the paddle boat, I thought for sure this 10 year old kid, Daniel, who was about 39 pounds soaking wet was about to fly out of the front of the boat at the last rapid we hit. His mom was originally in the boat with us and had to keep telling him to hold on, "both hands Daniel, I'm serious!" but she went out for a dip and got picked up by the boat behind us... so here's her kid being all "I'm the king of the world!" and I'm up front paddling my little blistered hands away with the other 4 on our boat... and we hit a deep pocket and I swear he's going to pop right out. I yell. "both hands Daniel!" and he survives, (yeah, I'm a hero, no big deal, ha ha.) I love that sort of thing,-- that someone doesn't have to be paranoid that her kid is going to get hurt because she knows The Group is looking after him. We all bonded very quickly, once you've 'grooved' together there's no turning back! It was like LOST, you're thrown into this situation with all these different personalities that are just as likely to clash as they are to mix and you just see what happens. I think we had a really great group... at the end Jordan was saying to me, "It;'s like 'The Breakfast Club,' you bond for the time that's provided, but I don't think anyone has to expect to be lifelong friends." It is what it is. We were a tight little family for 4 days, we could trust each other and have fun with each other, but when it was over-- hugs were given, good-byes said, emails exchanged, and we'll send photos of our adventures together and whatnot, but I think keeping it what it was is precious. It was an adventure. A moment in life, where time, for four days stopped. And we all got to experience the beauty of that together!

Before we knew what we were getting ourselves into... 

Lucky #546 Pork Chops

A little creative liberty!!

"I'm on a boat mutha...!" 

Remember how we talked about the water temperature? 
Apparently I wasn't listening! 

...but Jordo thinks it's just peachy! 

I may have been irrationally afraid of stocked 
freshwater sharks, but I smiled through it! 

Our lives for 4 days... jealous? 

Lunch, Day One-- The Outcast.

Bee-U, tee-Ful! 

Groovin' with a view! 

You really don't know what love is until you've done 
the double groove switch over together! 

Lounging.

Jordan on a single 'duckie' during our silent float
through L'adore Canyon.

Isn't he adorable? 

Scouting the rapids.

Trying to stay far away from the poison ivy.

Lazy Bum! 

"CAAAAAANONNNNNBAAAALLLLL!!!"

Hikng the haunted hillside... Spoooooky! 

'Butt Damn Falls' is about to rip one! 

Long horned "deer" sheep.

Jordan was mad I bit his nip,what? 
 I was hungry for a s'more! 

"Left a good job in the cit-ay, workin' for the man ev'ry 
night n' day, but I never lost a minute uh-sleeping, 
worried 'bout the way things might have been... 
big wheels keep on turnin', 
Proud Mary keep on burnin'... 
Rollin,' rollin,' rollin' on the river!"

What a MAN! 
Seriously, though, it is so much harder than it looks. 

THIS IS LIFE! 

You know wifey loves costume night.

Someone show my dad this picture. He'll die. 

August 15, 2011

only because i be lookin' supa' FLY!

van-i-taayy!
jordo' took this of me today. the open window is ours and the other belongs to drew and julie. we have yet to take foot in friendship territory, but if they knew what they were missing, we'd be hanging out, all 4 of us 24/7. maybe not, i'm a little boring and work too much. but man, can i cook a mean taco! something utah is definitely missing-- delicious mexican food. mmm!

on love. ♥

this is my husband, jordan. stone-cold fox, right? yeah, he's a total babe. i definitely married up. can a girl say that? or that is such a bro thing to say? either way, he's a babe. and i love him. he is so good to me. today in sunday school we talked about 'the law of chastity' and what it means before marriage and within marriage... i think the major thing today isn't the physical affairs, it's more emotional. and maybe because people are getting into marriage for the wrong reasons. i don't pretend to be an expert by any means, so correct me where i'm wrong. jordan and i have only been married a year, but i know he's the best thing for me. when he asked me to marry him-- looking back, man, it seems like we hardly knew each other. we only dated for about 3 months before he asked my parents for my hand in marriage! but i said yes, so quickly because i saw a future with him. such a real future. it was something at the time almost tangible. i knew that at times it may not be easy. i don't think marriage ever is. i don't think that loving anyone ever is. true love involves total selflessness. i worked with this kid, andrew, for a while. and he wanted a wife so bad. (i think a lot of it is the utah bubble we live in: you serve a mission, you come home, you take a wife, you live happily ever after.) but, i feared he wanted a wife like an object to be had... so we talked about relationships a lot. i told him everything i knew from my limited 27 years of life experience. i don't know what makes a marriage or any relationship last, but i do know that being in love with an idea never works. wanting what you see others have doesn't work either. i guess it's alright to want some form of that happiness for yourself, but lasting relationships aren't built on someone else's CINDERELLA story.
i fell in love with jordan when he bought me pens. he bought pens that weren't sold in 5 stores i'd looked, he sneaked them into my makeup bag before i left his house one day and on my ride home i felt the crinkle of them beneath the zipper....with that, i knew he loved me and i knew i loved him. he cared enough about me to listen to some complaint so simple as me not being able to find the pens i preferred. i knew that if he could hear me say something so simple in passing and remember it a week later then take his time to either go out of his way to go to the store and FIND them, or remember, while at the store to stop and take a look for them, that this was someone i wanted to be with. it sounds crazy, right? pens? the fact that HE CARED enough about something so minor in my life as pens insured me that for all the big things-- he'd more than be there.
i love loving him. it's more than just the comfort that comes from being loved by another. by being wanted and needed by someone else. it's dropping your guard and admitting that you need him just as much as he needs you. do away with the pride that tells us we can do everything on our own and for ourselves. i'm confident we can, but why should we have to? why shouldn't we find someone to help us along the journey? 'help' is almost a bad word in such the independent society we live. but i say 'help' in the most positive of lights; help us find beauty in our faults, the nice side of our terrible boss, the good side of a bad day, the hope for something better than we think we deserve. this is the type of love that is lasts, i think. i hope. i'd like to say i know so. a year deep and i can't imagine life without him, can't remember any highschool crush who even came close to filling his shoes. not even the idea of smeone is as great as what he is... and what he and we together will become.

August 14, 2011

in the beginning god created... blogging!

this is me. amber. this is my blog. "just things i think about" because "just things" was taken. guess what it's going to be about? ...if you guessed, "just things she thinks about" please advance to the next level! you are a freakin' genius. okay, only a semi-genius; like RAINMAN status, amazingly smart, but with no real functional or social value. have i offended you yet? you shouldn't take offense. i am only kidding. and afterall, this is an open forum for my thoughts as previously mentioned and implied by the url. i might from time to time, but you should still subscribe because my thought might occasionally be pretty interesting. and chances are-- you've got an hour to waste surfing the net anyway, right? so give me a chance, i might actually need a few chances, so check back in from time to time.
with that said, this is the lead in to my first official post, so here goes nothing...