What's in a name?

When choosing names for our children, Jordan and I choose carefully.

A lot of thought and consideration goes into our decision.  

A name has the power to, in large part, shape ones personality. 

Are you a John, Jonathan or Jon?  

Jenn? Jen? Jenny? Jennifer? Or trending on Jenni? Ginnifer? Ginny? 

Naming a person, a human person, --FOR LIFE-- is a tough role on us as parents because we're essentially branding our child from birth. I've had people tell me that I don't *seem* like and "Amber" to them... because "Amber" in their mind is reserved for bimbos and red headed strippers. A name akin to "Bambi," "Barbie" and "Cupcake." I'm not kidding. I've heard this generalization from more than one person. 

I can't say I've known, personally, more than 2 other Ambers my entire life, so I'll save my judgements. 

Does it make me feel any differently about my name though? 

No. 

I didn't feel suddenly sluttier or dumber for my namesake. I replied, "hmm..." and laughed. I was 17 and in high school, I couldn't have cared less what anyone thought of me. And hey, at least their name association was positive; they were after all favoring me a cut above the rest.

And I assumed they likely did not actually know too many strippers to compare.   

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I'd never had to name anything more important than a turtle until I got pregnant. And a turtle you can name almost anything. 

The ever creative, 

Turtle. 

Mr. Turtle. 

Leonardo. 

Rafael. 

Donatello. 

Michelangelo. 

Esther. 

Magic Man. 

...though it's a turtle, not a man at all. 

This does not matter, 

because   it's    a    turtle.

It never has to put it's name on a resume, or present itself to other cruel judgmental turtles in school and say, "My name is Lucee. Like 'Lucy,' but with two e's instead of the 'y' at the end." 

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When Jordan and I found out we were pregnant with Harrison we didn't go name crazy. We did not each write out our individual favorites then veto each others worst picks dwindling the list down to one perfect, glorious, glimmering and well thought out boys name.
We felt his name would eventually come to us. It didn't seem something we had to stress about, we had nine months to figure it out. 

Sure, we made lists. 

We crossed names of each others off. 

As time went by we even crossed some of our own off.

Because as Harrison grew inside of me I began to feel his little spirit grow too. I felt his personality developing in every midnight kick and bladder punch. Jordan could feel him growing too, as I spent the nights tumbling sleeplessly in bed next to him as Harrison tumbled gleefully inside of me. In every dollar spent on swiss rolls and every inch my belly grew, Jordan began to know his son. 

By the time he was born, we did not know who he was for sure; but we did know who he wasn't. 

He wasn't a John. Or a Timothy.
He wasn't a Theodore as we'd once suspected he might be. 

He wasn't a Lincon or a Carter. 

He was something though... and he was OURS. 

The first time we held him and called him, 'Harrison' it was surreal. Here was this baby, this tiny human baby that was ours to raise and look after, to mold and shape into the spirited one year old he is today and the man he will one day become. Had we chosen correctly? Can you choose incorrectly?

I remember saying to Jordan in the hospital after we'd filled out the Birth Certificate, "Harrison Henry. Are we sure? Not Henry Harrison like the president?" Jordan assured me we had chosen correctly. Looking at my little guy now, bouncing around the yard and yelling "WOOF!" at dogs passing by, I know HARRISON is who he is and who he's becoming.
My little Hare, my Hare Bear, my hairy little poo poo butt.

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So when you ask me what names Jordan and I are tossing around for our baby girl and I trust you enough to let you into my daughters world, do not scoff, do not laugh for minutes on end then ask to hear another. I am not peddling jokes.
Your remarks are hurtful.

...and quite honestly, a little rude.

This a a child we're talking about...
this is our child we're talking about.

These names, though you consider them to be strange, are names we have carefully thought out. Names we have said aloud with our hands pressed against my belly catching each little flutter of movement. Names we have created nicknames for and pictured on a pig tailed little girl as well as a rebellious pink haired teenager and a 30 year old woman who wants to be taken seriously.
You may not like them, but we do.  

You are not the first person we have told (unless you were the first person we told) who has smiled through their teeth and asked hesitantly, "Ohhhh... what else are you thinking?" We see the quizzical look on your face, wondering where we ever came up with such a name, as you suggest "Elizabeth," "Samantha," "McKenzie" and other such 'typical girl names;' hoping perhaps that we have not heard these all too common names before and one of them will strike a chord and replace the list of names we have fallen so deeply in love with.

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I do not know yet what her name will be.
We only have ideas, names we like.
I do know that in less than 2 months we will be blessed again with a sweet baby spirit. This time a girl. And she will need to be called something...

One day she will come to me and ask, "Mommy, where did my name come from?" and I will tell her the story of how her daddy and I searched high and low for a name that could dare describe the beauty, grace and intelligence standing before me calling me MOMMY.

She's gonna be somebody's baby...

You may have been living under a rock if you didn't know we are pregnant, but if you're just finding out we're having a girl-- you're not too late to catch that train! We only just announced to friends and family last night. 

We officially found out Baby #2 is a girl on Tuesday,

Mommy and Daddy knew it all along though! 

I have to be honest [#drew], I was [not to secretly] hoping for another BOY, but Jordan said he had a 'feeling' baby is a girl and since he was right last time around, I jumped on the Team Pink bandwagon with him. 

There was a defining moment for me though when I truly turned to the dark side...

I was driving home from grocery shopping very early along and, as I believe all pregnant women do at one point or another [or several points,] I was searching for confirmation that little baby was going to be okay and I could start to be excited about our growing family when "Somebody's Baby" by Jackson Browne came on the radio! Coincidence? No way, that's what I've learned to call a tender mercy from God; a small personal sign to let me know that by His grace Baby was on the right track to make her feature debut later this year!

We are so excited to start planning for our new addition: Jordan is likely most excited that he doesn't have to paint over the already fuscia guest room walls to transform it into a nursery for out new little one. 

From snips and snails and puppy dog tails to 

sugar and spice and all that is nice, 
here we come!  

40 days / 40 nights

The Lenten Season is upon us...
Happy Ash Wednesday All! 

Jordan and I rang in FAT TUESDAY last night by hitting up Taco Bell and dranking up my favorite light blue fizzy drank-- a-Baja-Blast! Yum! Yum!
We have both decided to focus a little more on our health [at least for the next 40 days] and give up soda and sweets. Jordan is giving up candy; I am not sure if that includes Swiss Rolls? But I am taking a little bit more of a Halloween-ey approach and giving up buying sweets-- I mean, if someone drops a few packages of Girl Scout cookies on my doorstep, I am certainly not going to let them go to waste.

As always, I have given up Facebook as well. Last night I logged out of my account on all devices so even if I absent-mindedly typed in the address I wouldn't accidentally view the forbidden fruit! I even removed the app from my home page on phone and iPad... temptation you can't get me!! I think this year is going to be a little harder than usual because I am just home with Harrison and my time is not occupied with work. Being at home with Harrison is exactly the reason that this years purge is so important to me though-- I hate how much he sees me on my phone. I play with him and give him plenty of attention, but often times it is not my full, undivided attention, and he deserves that!

Catholic, Mormon, Agnostic, or nothing at all...
Whatever you call yourself, Lent is a great time to focus LESS on the things of the world that may be holding us back from being our best selves-- and I encourage you to join in the challenge!

10 Month Old Little Man

My little man turns 10 months old today!
I'll tell ya'-- he is 100% B-O-Y... 

He farts on me and looks up to smile because he knows he's being a little joker; and I have to fake burp in the car while we run errands to keep him entertained and laughing away! 

He still hates diaper changes, which is making it harder and harder to pin him down so he's been bare bottoming it a lot because I just don't have the fight in me. 

He's not really sure how toys work; he is majorly destructive and always wants to take them apart instead of playing with them He especially loves ripping the door stopper off the door, breaking Mommy's LEGO creations, tearing the ABC magnets off the magnet board, pulling apart puzzles and knocking down Daddy's block towers. Like I said, ALL BOY!

We got a big surprise when he slept through the night one night this week and we thought he was really going to make 10 months his month! ...but no. That was a one night anomalie. *Sigh... one day. 

Grandma came for her first visit this year and babysat so Mommy and Daddy could have a weekend getaway. Ooh la la! We were able to escape off to Heber and stay at Jordan's grandpa's cabin to celebrate my birthday. Harrison stayed home with Grandma for his first ever night away from Mommy and Daddy! He gave Grandma a run for her money, but she loved all the extra time with him! 

Next month will mark 11 months and soon after that we'll be celebrating the little ones FIRST BIRTHDAY!

Time is really flying! I suppose when there are only days in between updates instead of months it seems faster to you too! I'm getting better-- this one is right on time! 

SIDES

Let me tell you about an incident that happened to me at the beginning of the year...

We had just gotten home from vacation and I took Harrison out to Sam's Club to restock the cupboards. We entered the parking lot  and were stuck driving around  up and down the rows because the nearest parking spots were seriously like a mile from the door. After only a few minutes of surveying the lot we hit the jackpot because [BINGO!] there was a car getting ready to pull out and they were only one parking spot away from the door. Mind you I'm not typically so lazy that I wont park out in the boonies, but it's still cold here in Utah and with little one in tow it's easiest for us to be a) as near to the door as possible and b) close to a cart return so I don't have to leave him alone in the car while I walk very far away from him to do my civic duty that is properly returning the cart. [Yes, I judge you if you just leave your cart propped up on the planter box in between cars! So annoying.] 

I turned on my blinker and waited for 2 cars coming in the opposite direction to pass so the parked car could pull out. Now, I have to tell you that this Sam's Club has angled parking spots [but no directional arrows] and I was coming at it from the right, so I'd have to make a sharp left turn, but the spots are big and I knew I could make it without having to do an embarrassing three-point turn, so I waited. As the car was pulling out, a third car coming in the opposite direction swooped in and stole my spot! 

I had my blinker on! 

For several minutes. 

There is absolutely NO WAY this driver could not have seen that I was clearly waiting for the spot... 

So I did what anyone stuck in the wrong end of justice would do, laid on my horn and rolled down my window to confront him!

Now I had no intentions of attacking the old man driver, but wanted to call him out and let him know how rude he'd been. That I had been waiting for that spot specifically so my infant son would not have to be out in the cold any longer than necessary. I really wanted to know what his response was to my question, 

"Excuse me sir, did you really not see me there?"

This crotchety old man gets out of his car and I knew immediately that he had in fact seen me waiting there because; 1) He rushed to get out of the car, knowing he had pulled a jerk move and was hurrying to try to avoid confrontation. And 2) He was on the defense, HARD!

It was as though he had planned out what he was going to say to me as he was waiting to cut me off. 

This belligerent old man practically leaped out of his car and before my window was rolled all the way down, he SCREAMED me! 

"Get your own damn spot!! 

That's my F*%&ing spot! 

It's on MY F^<%ing SIDE! 

YOU STAY ON YOUR OWN GOD DAMNED SIDE!" 

And he huffed off. 

There had been only one person who witnessed my encounter-- a gentleman in his mid 40's, wearing a suit and standing to the right of my vehicle, looked up at me with shock in his eyes and gave me a look that said, "Wow, some people! Sorry."

I wish, I wish, so badly that he had said something to that old man.
I know people don't want to get involved. 

It wasn't his fight.

But I wanted someone other than myself to stand up for me to show that old man that it wasn't even what he did that was so wrong, but the way he acted was unacceptable and would not be tolerated. 

I will tell you right now, I desperately wanted to 'teach him a lesson' and go all "Fried Green Tomatoes" on his car! I had my son with me though, which would not be safe and doing so would not make me any better than him. Plus I'd take a ding on my drivers record and have explain to my husband that our insurance is now through the roof because I was not able to control my emotions.

I like to just imagine his shock though... 

Him walking away all fired up, surely thinking he is owed something in this world and that, I, the youth of America think myself to be so entitled that I have somehow "earned" the right to stake claim to a parking spot that is so clearly on "his side" of the lane -- and then CRASH!! He turns around to find me ramming his car and flipping him off. 

Instead of going all vigilante on his wrinkly old butt, I settled for leaving a note on his car windshield. Thankfully his van as still there after I had to drive halfway to Timbuktu to find a stinkin' parking spot. Ironically enough, I had "Thank You" notes in my car [that I had bought earlier for Harrison's Christmas presents], so I used one of those to tell him just how he'd made me feel. I left out the part where I had been in tears out of mere shock for the way he felt was necessary to verbally attack me. I wrote that I hoped that others out there would have treated his wife and children, or even daughter and grandchildren with more respect than he had given me that day. Lastly, I let him know that he was what was wrong with the world... His need to separate people and force them to choose a side.     

Black or White

Straight or Gay

Religious or Atheist

 Democrat or Republican

...pick your side. 

Perhaps you're reading this thinking I am making too much out of it, over analyzing the situation, the man. That he was just reacting defensively to my aggressive honking... but I promise you this-- that much anger and rage was not over a parking spot. 

There was a time when it was an honor to let a lady go ahead of you, 

when we knew our neighbors and their stories, 

when we let our kids play outside well after dusk, 

and we smiled at strangers instead of burying our faces in our phones... 

We need to get back to that.

Baby on the outside!

Once upon a time I was great at updating the blog... and not just with little baby pics [though adorable,] I had thoughts on subjects other than the consistency of poop, diaper rash cream and wondering, "is there anything that coconut oil can't fix?" 

Then along came baby-- and POOF! there went all my free time. 

[It took my social life along with it!] 

So you'll have to excuse me that Harrison is just a few days shy of 10 months and I'm only barely posting his 9 month update. I've been busy trying to pin down his poopy bottom long enough to slap a fresh diaper on it, so I haven't really had a lot of time to sit and type without this very mobile baby boy pulling on my leg. And yes, that is my second mention of poop in just 3 paragraphs, welcome to Mommy Life. 

It's okay though, you haven't missed much; a lot of fake burping and farting to keep the little man entertained. 

Harrison's top teeth fully emerged this month, which has been great because he is really starting to like exploring new foods. He swipes food right out of my hands, my food not his! He's packing on a little weight, but this Mama isn't losing any... what the heck? You'd think the lack of food and all my running around after him would suffice for diet and exercise, but I suppose I'm going to need to put in a little more effort if I want to get some resemblance of my pre-baby body back.

I hope we may have a walker on our hands soon! 

Harrison has been taking assisted steps since about 7 months, but I fear we're enabling him because he wont attempt to go anywhere without Mom or Dad. He doesn't even trust his walker, but honestly I wouldn't trust a talking dinosaur either. It has the voice of a man simply saying "ROAR!" I'm not really sure how to explain it... say "ROAR" out loud right now.... yeah, that's about it. So it's a little bit of a fishy character, always giving me the side eye. Okay, that's just how it was designed, eyes on the side of its fake plastic head, but still... somethings just not right with that thing and Harrison senses it. 

He's a very smart little baby. Thinking, learning, and applying new skills daily. It's so fun to watch his brain tick as he figures out new things. Daddy loves messing with him, so Harrison is certainly developing humility at an early age. 

I know everyone says it all the time, just add me to the group of cliche mothers, but I cannot believe how quickly my little boy is growing and how fast time flies! He has officially been on the outside as long as he was inside! [To quote my friend Julie.] Longer even, considering my laziness in updating punctually. 

Daddy and I love our little rugrat so much! He's such a blessing. I go to bed exhausted and wake up much, much to early, but I wouldn't trade it for the world-- this boy is my world!

Eight Month Update

Say "bye-bye" to 8 months because Baby Boy just turned 9 months yesterday.

Unfortunately I am playing catch up so we do not have his 9 month update ready but here's his 8 months. .. finally.

What a joy this new phase in his life is! Harrison is no longer just rolling and army crawling around, he has become much more mobile. And Mommy loves it! 

November and December were very busy for us; we spent lots of time at friends and family's houses... and unfortunately everyone has tile and wood flooring so little Hare was not able to practice his crawling. However the very night we got home and set him down on the [nice, soft and plush] carpet his little knees rejoiced and just like that he started crawling! A few days later he started pulling up and walking around the couch, chairs, legs of the kitchen table and any and everything else he can chin-up on. He walks around holding Mommy or Daddy's hands and would probably walk for hours on end if we had the energy to help him! My mother in law says Jordan started walking at 9 months and now that Harrison is officially 9 months he's got the next month to figure it out if he wants to hold Daddy's record. We'll see... 

His mobility has created in him a new sense of independence, but has also stirred up some trouble. He's  constantly bonking his little noggin all over and though I try to catch him before he falls, I can't always be quicker than his fall! Boys will be boys. We're quickly learning that we are going to have some bumps and bruises in our future with this little monster of ours! 

When I see newborn babies at the store or church I just can't remember a time when Harrison was so little. Time really does have wings! Jordan and I, though much more tired than we ever expected[!], are so grateful for the blessing that Harrison is in our lives! 

Mommy loves you baby boy! 

xoxoxo.

Lucky Number Seven!

Baby boy is 9 months old already, but I'm just playing some catch up. 

Our little family has sure been busy traveling and spending the holidays with family and friends. For Thanksgiving we decided to drive up to Northern California to spend Thanksgiving with my Aunt Pam and some childhood friends. We spent the week with Melissa and her new boyfriend Brad, Harrison was very curious about her two (BIG) puppies... they're German Shepard rescue dogs, so the term, 'puppy' does  not do justice to the mass of these tiny pony sized dogs! Full sized horses to little Hare! Titan may have been even more curious about Harrison than Harrison was of him! Harrison does well with doggies, but so far does not show much interest after the initial face licking. Yuck!

We spent a few days at Aunt Pam & Uncle Tony's house and had a wonderful dinner with them as well as my Aunt Cindy and Uncle Mark who were up north for the San Jose / Navy game. Marks sister, my cousins Hannah and Addi, and Addi's mom, Katrina, joined us for a delicious Thanksgiving dinner. Harrison is still not showing much interest in solids, but enjoyed gnawing on a piece of turkey, gumming a roll and actually ate lots of mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. All mommy's favorites too! 

Harrison has officially said his first word-- DADA! Hooray. 

He went from babbling "dadadadadadadadada" to actually calling out for him and it's just too cute. He babbles for me too, "mamamamamamamama" but is just making the sounds, we do not have an official "Mama" yet, but I can wait!