When I die and they lay me to rest...

Dragon and I attended a semi-distant relatives funeral this past weekend and it got me thinking about my own. Who says that? I do. And after telling Dragon some of my requests he told me I had better "put that in writing!" because none of my family would believe him if he tried to make my funeral so atrocious-- I said, apparently you don't know me very well-- because this is exactly what my family and closest friends would expect from me in my final wishes. So, here are a few of the details I hope can be fulfilled when I'm gone...

*Everyone MUST WEAR BLACK!

I do not want one of these modern day funerals where people think black is too morbid and they say they are celebrating my life instead of mourning my death. I want you to celebrate, but mourn in only one way-- your clothing. All black please. I am old fashioned in this way, girls veil your faces with those cute little birdcage veils... as always, even in death I will appreciate your fashion statement!   

*I want a slideshow! 

If you know me, you know I'll never miss a moment to have all eyes on me! I'd like a slideshow with pictures of me with family and friends through the ages, as well as little video clips intermingled within. These should be funny clips that will make people laugh remembering all the good times we had! 

*Lets not try to convert! 

Don't use my death as a means in which to preach the gospel! Though I'd like the service to include a history of my beliefs and the gospel of Jesus Christ as well as information on the atoning sacrifice of Christ-- which will be my saving grace; I'd prefer it all to relate to my life somehow or people simply become uninterested. And nobody likes sitting through a funeral feeling disconnected completely from the one they've lost. 

*NO wake. 

I never liked getting up early anyway so let me sleep! [bad joke.] 

Not entirely sure what my stance is on open casket/viewing/wake. I still am not sure how I feel about people viewing my dead body after my spirit has left it and it is very naturally starting to decay physically. I believe my body is merely a physical vessel in which to protect my soul, but I recognize those who love me are in some way attached to my physical being and may wish to have closure which may only come from seeing me that way. However, it is an image one cannot shake and I'd prefer to leave this world with an imprint of liveliness and joy not a sad painted on face. So... you'll have to get back to me on this one for a final decision. 

*Burn baby, burn! [Disco Inferno!]

I kinda like the thought of cremation. I am not sure what my churches stance on this is, but believe my own opinions may matter more, for it'll be the final decision I make, right? I hate to think of all the land that is used up by 6'x6' plots of dead people. Useful for nothing. Graveyards are a nice place to go and remember someone we love, but wouldn't it be better to go to a place where we had a nice memory with them instead?  I like what the little boy said about building underground skyscrapers, in "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close," burying people on top of each other far underground instead of at ground level. 

*"Spirit in the Sky!"

Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" is a must! Maybe like right when I'm being lowered into the ground. It has to be a surprise [although I just ruined it right now] so it should be played at a really quiet moment when no one is expecting it. "Never been a sinner, I never sinned, yeah I got a friend in Jesus!" Everyone who is crying will just start laughing and it will be great! 

*Uh-uh-uh-mayyyy-ziiii-iiing Grace...

I believe I shall not outlive my little brother, so Mattie-- you must pipe Amazing Grace over my casket. 

[I love you.]

*Memorialized.

I'd like a memorial the night before the funeral, for just family and close friends to come and share stories about me. Connect with each other through your connections to me and enjoy the company and stories those who knew me best have to share! 

*What to do with all those FLOWERS!? 

Send an arrangement home with each of my kids. One can go over my freshly covered grave and the rest need to be sent home with Dragon and are to surround his bed so he will be so sad when he goes to bed without me. [Jordan just laughed at me for plotting to be so mean to him, but I think it's funny! And he should mourn me! So, future children-- or Sara and Melissa-- make sure this happens! ;) Only half serious!] 

...and the other one Jordan said you'd never believe if he told you... 

*Taco Bell! 

I will leave a small sum to be applied for a Taco Bell catering... or perhaps an In-n-Out truck! Ha ha. I mean, it's already sad enough that you've lost me-- no need to torment you with funeral potatoes and casseroles that may have eyes! 

In all seriousness, I am not trying to be crass or insensitive to the subject of death. But the only way to live life is to be able to laugh at oneself and I believe this holds true even in death. So remember me as the girl who took nothing too serious!