The Lenten Season...

As mentioned a few weeks back, I am 'Lenting.'
About 4 years ago or so I decided to start participating in the Catholic tradition of a 40 day fast honoring the sacrifices made by the Savior in his mortal ministry. [When I began, it wasn't a spiritual thing at all, rather just a cleanse from the world I greeted as a healthy challenge.] Fasting begins on "Ash Wednesday" [which this year was the 22nd of February] and is a day to reflect on the repentance of sins. The Tuesday before Ash Wednesday is  known as "Fat Tuesday." I believe this is a day where one can indulge oneself with all the things of the world before going into a prayerful month and a half fasting ceremony. This is where the crazy Mardi Gras celebration comes from...It is a day to celebrate things of the world; lust, gluttony, greed, slothfulness, wrath, envy & pride. Sound familiar? It's all about indulgence, over-indulgence even. I find it funny that the day before we intend to leave the 'world' behind we are to be out celebrating all the worldly marks of the devil. [That sounded very preachy of me, but I'm not sure how else to phrase what I mean to say.] It is like the people who go on diets and have one last hoorah; ordering extra dessert to match their mayonnaise-slathered burger and fries! [with a "Mega Jug" of Diet Pepsi please! This was a half gallon drink we sold at KFC when I worked there in high school; people in the drive thru would--no joke-- order a 3 piece extra crispy drumstick and thigh combo with mashed potatoes and fries, "extra butter for my biscuit, please" all for their light lunch and add the Mega Jug for a mere ninety cents with ("Do you have) Diet(?) Pepsi please"  Who are you kidding!?] I can't cast the first stone though because the day before my fast I was at work savoring my last precious cups of soda and that night checked my Facebook one last time before midnight took it all away from me.
I know that the 40 day fast is intended to be a prayerful fast in which you give up things that may distract you from drawing nearer to God. I am not sure what most people give up, but every year I give up Facebook because it is an idle waste of my time. It also preys on my vanity because I am selfishly checking it every hour from my phone to see if anyone has commented on [how cute I look in] my most recently updated profile pic. [I hear ya', "Like blogging about yourself is any different?"-- but I blog with introspect about subjects which are important to me and usually by the end of the post I have learned a little about myself or at least organized my thoughts on certain topics.]
Three years ago I gave up drinking. Wowzahs! It was shortly after I had moved back from the East Coast and I was out on Fat Tuesday celebrating with my roommate; drinking it up, partying and dancing on tables, yes, dancing on tabletops-- I kid you not. [Not in an 'aspiring ballerina who wasn't good enough for Julliard and needed to earn some quick cash to pay rent in NYC' kind of way, just in a drunken, fun, Cabbage Patch and The Sprinkler moves kind of way.] I was hungover the next morning and overslept, missing my Spanich II class. I was 25 and knew better than to waste money on classes I had no intent to attend or pass, as I had done in my earlier twenties. Giving up alcohol, for what was intended only to be a 40 day hiatus, ended up being a crucial decision for my life. If you've seen "The Vow," you will know these moments of impacts in our lives end up changing things forever. My moment wasn't the the moment I decided to give up alcohol for Lent that year... which flash forward to three years later and still sober. It wasn't  the moment I chose to go out drinking that night. My moment was-- sobering up the following morning and finally realizing that though the East Coast had been fun, I had just spent two and a half years in Plymouth and Providence pissing my life away and here I was back in California doing the same childish thing. My time spent out there was my personal pilgrimage [yet I didn't know it at the time.] It had been a  journey in which I spent my life doing the things I wanted to do, avoiding the things I knew I should be doing. I had no direction and zero motivation to better myself. I was scared to settle into a life out there because I felt I was missing something. It took giving up the lifestyle I had connected to, to  discover just what I was missing.
When I gave up alcohol that morning, I really had only intended it to be a brief time for a personal cleansing of the mind. A challenge I welcomed to test my own personal strengths. What I got was so much more than that. I had already been seeing the missionaries and I believe that because I was in a sober state of mind I was able to better hear and feel The Spirit and understand the promptings I was receiving. I made a choice in April of 2009 to be baptized and that choice has affected my life so deeply.
Participating in the Lenten Season has since become very important to me. You never know how big your small choices may become. Some of our fast choices may seem silly or very minimally crucial to our spiritual growth, yet they all lead us somewhere. This year I have given up Facebook, Pinterest & Perezhilton along with soda and eating pizza at work. Having given up Facebook has lead me to find other sources for internet entertainment. I surf the web half as much as when I am on Facebook and have turned to blogging to fill my minutes of boredom when Jordan is busy with schoolwork. Being disconnected from this social network, one with which the entire purpose is that of fueling our desire and need for instant gratification, has slowed me down and given me time to contemplate issues that were, before, given lesser priority-- though they are of greater importance. [Our most recent Sunday Date for example, was one which likely would not have happened had I not been able to tear myself away from the live streaming mundane minute to minute updates of my 'Facebook Friends'] Whether or not some grand event [like my personal conversion and baptism story] occurs from your Lenten Fast, we will each have learned from the 40 day self-battle, at the very least, that WE ARE STRONGER THAN OUR VICES.


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I am twenty days into my fast and I have deliciously prepared pizza and mouth watering bubbly soda at my fingertips each day, staring me in the eyes--tempting me. I have not succumb to their will, but kept mine strong. The websites I have given up have been the easiest of my problems, as my true weakness is food!
I have been trying to read from the scriptures, lesson manuals or Ensigns each day to keep me spiritually focused. I have not kept track of that particular progress day by day but I would say I'm around 92% achievement!
As far as my gym routine, which I had hoped to amp up[!].... ha! I have only been a time or two in the last three weeks. However, Jordan and I have recently begun discussing a Hawaiian getaway in celebration of our two year anniversary in August; which gives me less than six months to lose 25 pounds [and I had chocolate for breakfast this morning! Ugh.]
                         I know it is possible.
                               I don't know that its likely.
I am nearly at the halfway point [as Lent this year is 46 days] and there is no turning back now. When I decide to take a sip of soda, whether it be in exactly 26 days or I stretch my will power another month or two past Easter, I assume it will be a satisfying splurge. I could allow myself to cheat or give up sooner, but I know that the soda will taste of bittersweet guilt, not having even been worth the loss to myself this personal struggle.

See-- our individual Lenten Fast may seem, to others, silly in nature; but we are responsible to ourselves to make it important  and applicable to our own lives. I was raised very loosely Catholic and now am an active member of the Mormon faith. Where the traditions come from is not more important than the fact that members of any, all, or no denominations can apply the season of Lent to their lives. Lent is a season of self sacrifice in return for personal growth that we can all be better for!